Anatomy of a Hike

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Hiking in the “Riviera” area above Santa Barbara, California

 

It’s been sooo long since I’ve written a post, I bet you thought I’d really taken a hike. I’m not going to list a bunch of boring excuses. Sometimes life just beckons and you have to come running (does that count as exercise?)

Anyway, I’m back. Are the mailing issues with my posts rectified? Let’s not get crazy, but they should be soon. If it makes you feel any better (and why shouldn’t it, misery loves company) a few other important things in life fell by the wayside too. Like physical activity. That also needs rectifying. Can’t be heading into the holiday season without jangling the molecules regularly.

 

IMG_2146A trail head in Sun Valley, Idaho

 

Starting with a hike this weekend. Well, probably later today 🙂

Which reminded me I started a post about this very subject quite awhile back.

Are you in need of more cardio too? Come join me then!

But first, I think it’s only fair to break down the anatomy of hiking with me before you commit.

 

 

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1) Starting off. The Part where I inevitably complain about walking to the hike. Because, maybe you’ve noticed this-a lot of hikes involve a hike to the hike. And this first part doesn’t actually count as the hike. God forbid. This is certainly true of Santa Barbara and Sun Valley.  If I had my druthers, I would drive to the hike. Plus it’s so much easier to snack driving than walking.

 

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2) The Part where I don’t get my druthers.

 

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3) The part where I attempt to establish that I’ll be setting the pace. (see my husband up ahead, hanging on my every word?)

 

890A8320Hiking in Utah

 

4) The part where my fellow hikers are still not abiding by my setting the pace rule.  Hello up there… I just want you to know…YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!

 

5) Back to the Beginning Part. Where we invariably pass super fit looking people all jazzed and exhilarated because they are coming DOWN (never has the word been so appealing) as we are just starting up.

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Husband usually bids them a jaunty “Have a good one”.  I find this exerts too much energy. I’m already too winded from the pre-hike to be nice (non-jealous) but  manage my best faux sporty Hey-we’re-all-in-this-together smile while hoping their dog’s drool hasn’t penetrated my cheap fanny pack and besmirched my cookie wrapped in kleenex because we were out of sandwich bags.

 

 

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I almost forgot Stage 6) Pre-Hike Prep; Where I thought it would be a great idea to bring super fresh coconut water. Electrolytes People. Should it be this hard?? Meanwhile, husband is waiting. And waiting. Needs to get back before the game starts. Mission aborted. Plain water it is. After 3 different hiking bottles fail to close properly, I pick the least leaky one. Aluminum. Aluminam. Metal. yuk. Can’t add ice now because bottle’s too cold to carry.

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My friend’s sweet dog in Sun Valley.

 

7) The Part where I start to question every item of clothing I’m wearing, lament the things I forgot; Bear whistle, flare, SPF lipstick, and worry water bottle wasn’t cleaned properly as it tastes like last year. Have to hold it straight up or it leaks. Start to complain about coconut water again…if I’d only had 10 more minutes…I’m going to write to Atkinson’s and tell them they should pre-drill their coconuts for God’s sake.

 

Hiking in Sun Valley Idaho , Slim Paley, Instagram

 

8) The part where the sun starts Ferngullying through the trees, I get a second wind, a huge surge of seratonin, and forget I’m possibly being poisoned by dog drool and rancid water.

 

 

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There is indeed heaven in them there mountains.

 

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Stage 9, where I feign way too much interest in some really boring wild flowers so I can stop and rest for a minute.

 

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Fascinating symmetry on this wild dandelion, too bad all you ‘speed hikers’ are missing it.

 

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The top of Adam’s Peak, Sri Lanka, just after sunrise.

 

Stage 10- Hurray! Getting close to the top. All of a sudden I have “THE MOMENT”. Cue music (can’t do that anymore with my new format)

 

Hiking Sun Valley  Slim Paley

 

Everything is right with the world and I can’t understand why I don’t hike Every  Single  Day.  It’s the BEST!!

Stage 11) What is wrong with me?!! ( immediately reverting back to self-incrimination)  I look down, see how far we still have to hike and the bottom of a toe on my left foot begins to burn. It occurs to me applying “Baby Foot”  the morning before a long hike was maybe not the best idea.

 

coming down Adam's Peak, Sri Lanka

The easiest part of the very long trek down Adam’s Peak after sunrise, Sri Lanka

 

hiking, Sun Valley  Slim Paley

 

Part 12) We’re almost at the bottom. My toe is nearly numb, which is good, but I grow concerned that we won’t run into anyone just beginning the hike so I can laud it over them. What the hell. Where’s the fun in that?? There were so many people coming down when we were coming up…Murphy’s Law.

13) The part where I remember we still have the hike home when we get to the bottom. omg. I’m never doing this hike again. No pay off.

 

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14)  The Pay Off

 

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15) The Wind Down

 

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16) The Reward

 

Still coming??!

 

Happy Trails!

PS. What is Baby Foot ??

 

xxSP

 

 

46 Comments

  1. I’m with you on this one – it’s not that I’m out of shape – well maybe I am – but just not too motivated. Certainly the vistas and nature are worth it. But, I agree with you – I hate the hike to the hike. Please someone drive me…

  2. This left me laughing. Since I moved to our vacation home in the N.C. mountains full time four months ago, I keep thinking I’m acclimated. I may be used to the altitude, however . . . So disappointing to be the one trailing behind. Like you, I am the one carrying the camera, so I’m always stopping for photo ops. We can feel justified that we’re taking the time to appreciate the journey and are not just racing to the top, right? Closer to home, my problem is after walking down to the mailbox, I still can’t make it up the driveway without pausing. So I have to stop and do a little judicious weeding. Now that it’s cold, I’m more likely to drive. It IS long and steep.

  3. Slim: I love your sense of humour, I was laughing out loud! Hilarious.. but yea the payoff it’s definitely worth it. And that Sri Lanka post that you originally did was probably the most inspiring post, that was totally amazing, love your photos too! Thanks for the inspiration and laughter. N