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Yesterday my friend Richard and I visited the  Huntington Gardens in Pasadena CA for the first time.

 We were quite chuffed with ourselves as the place was absolutely abuzz.

The Amorphophallus titanum, or “Corpse Flower” that grows in the conservatory  there was about to bloom any day now!

There were signs everywhere; “SOMETHING’S GETTING BIGGER!”

This would only be the second time a Corpse Flower has ever bloomed in California, and the 11th time in recorded history in the United States.

Ever.

 It is the largest flower in the world standing in excess of 6 ft. and not only famous for it’s immense size but also it’s exceptionally foul odour.

Richard and I could hardly wait.

 Trembling with anticipation, we stood patiently in line to take our photo with the huge phallic rarity, scarcely believing our luck.

It had grown two inches that very day!

We sniffed the air gingerly, hoping… nothing.

Ahhnd…nothing.

I mean, seriously, how long does one wait for a corpse??

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Richard heard on the radio it burst into bloom the following day.

  @#%^$%#  flower.

I’m never going there again.

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